If you come upon a fallen tree, did it ever stand?

 A common physics question turned philosophical goes as follows:

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

I'm sure you've heard it before and I think the Wikipedia page does a good enough job explaining it, so that's not what I'll go into today.  

But I was thinking about it recently and I thought of a follow up question:

If you come upon a fallen tree, did it ever stand?

As I write this, I struggle to coherently put the thoughts together, so we'll see where this post goes. 

I've been thinking about a lot of concepts in my life and growth process recently, and I discovered a concept I struggle with still is consolidating my past self with my current self (and my future self, but that's making things too complicated).  One of my biggest challenges for me the past few years has been to live completely in the now: no regrets, no burdens; no letting the past hold me back from growing and learning in the now. 

I notice that I, but also society, tends to hold onto the past.  We create our resumes this way.  We judge each other on our resumes. We judge each other and ourselves on what we were and conclude that it predicts and limits what we could be.  On LinkedIn, people put "Ex-Company" or "Formerly @ Business" in their titles, so we hold on to these past parts of us.  And I feel constantly conflicted by this, because it's true: what has happened definitely defines who we are now, but if we're not that anymore, why hold on to that past?  Is it really useful to?  I'm so very guilty of this and it's something I want to let go of, but so far, I don't think I've found that balance yet of how to embrace it without leaning on it.  

It's also hard when the past comes with painful memories, yet outwardly feels so valuable.  An example of what I mean: I worked at SpaceX.  That name comes with such a wow-factor and I can attribute my following job opportunities and career to that wow-factor and the fact when people find out about it, they feel impressed--my ego gets boosted!  Yet I think about that time in my life and I'm not sure I could describe right now a more painful part of my life.  I've never cried so much, or felt so low and lonely.  People treated each other so poorly.  Some of the people I met there have inflicted pain on me that I never want to feel again, and in a way I'm not ready to share publicly.  So I feel conflicted, because I reference this time in my life to feel good about myself externally, yet the reality is that it's a memory that causes a deep pain inside.  

As I write this, I think I need to admit to myself that I feel conflicted mostly because I feel a need to prove myself to the people I meet in my life and it's really just me that holds too much value to the past.  "Look, this painful thing happened to me! Feel bad! Doesn't this validate me now?" I want to and need to value myself in my current form more.  That way, I never really have to feel like the past defines anything.  I feel really lucky that I have a number of friends in my life who see me as I am right now.  And for those who don't think that way of me, they don't really matter.  

So yes, the fallen tree, I conclude, has stood.  It stood until it didn't need to anymore, and at that point, it accepted the moment and released itself and was embraced by the ground to start a new journey.